The Kind of Adventure That Happens Without Leaving the Sofa
Some days don’t begin with intention—they just… happen. No alarms, no agenda, no reason to hurry. You sit back, pick up your phone, and let the internet take the wheel. And before you even realise how it started, you’ve somehow fallen into the strangely soothing world of pressure washing addlestone—a topic you definitely didn’t wake […]
The Kind of Day That Felt Like a Pause Button
Some days don’t arrive with energy or intention—they just drift in quietly, like they’re waiting to see if you’ll actually participate. Today was one of those rare, still days where time doesn’t push, thoughts don’t rush, and even the clock seems to tick without purpose. I didn’t fight it. I let the day slow me […]
The Great Safari of the Emotionally Unstable Shopping Trolley
There once was a shopping trolley named Neville who lived in the car park of a supermarket that played the same three songs on loop since 2014. Neville had dreams—BIG dreams. He didn’t want to spend his life ferrying frozen peas and regret. He wanted to go on safari. Not a metaphorical safari. A real […]
A Study of a Brain That Really Just Wanted a Quiet Day but Got Distracted by Everything
Some days begin with promise. You wake up, stretch, and think: Yes, today I shall function. You imagine yourself doing responsible human activities—replying to emails, drinking water, maybe even folding laundry before it reaches the “textile mountain” stage. But then, without warning, your brain decides to unlock a bonus level of nonsense and suddenly you’re […]
The Committee of People Who Dramatically Overreact to Minor Household Incidents
Once a month, in a perfectly average living room that has seen far too much emotional intensity, a group known as The Domestic Incident Response Committee gathers to discuss problems no normal person would ever classify as problems. Their slogan: “If it happened indoors, it mattered.” The first incident report of the evening came from […]
The Afternoon That Tried to Be a Mystery Novel
Nobody planned it. Nobody agreed to it. And yet, halfway through an otherwise normal Thursday, the day suddenly began behaving like the opening chapter of a mystery novel written by someone who had misplaced the plot. It began when a folded note was found tucked inside a salt shaker at a café. The note had […]
A Thoroughly Unnecessary Chronicle of the Banana That Tried to Enroll in Night School
At precisely 6:41pm, a banana fell off the fruit bowl and landed on the floor with the dramatic energy of someone who had just made a life-changing decision. Gerald picked it up, only to discover a tiny handwritten note taped to the peel that read: “I crave education.” He wasn’t sure whether to be alarmed, […]
An Overly Dramatic Observational Report on Absolutely Ordinary Things
There comes a moment in every household when someone looks around and decides that the universe has personally wronged them through the existence of dirt. One minute you’re living your life, the next minute a full-scale outdoor intervention is underway, all because somebody watched a home improvement video at 1am and “got inspired.” It started […]
When the Outside World Starts Asking for Attention
There comes a point when the outside of a home stops blending in and starts making silent accusations. Maybe it’s the roof that suddenly looks like it’s auditioning to be a garden. Maybe it’s the driveway that has collected so many stains it could be studied by historians. Or maybe it’s the patio, which now […]
The International Summit of Confused Sandwich Ingredients
Once a year, in a conference hall made entirely of breadcrumbs and questionable decisions, the International Summit of Confused Sandwich Ingredients was held. Delegates travelled from fridges, picnic baskets, and abandoned lunchboxes across the world. No sandwiches were assembled during the summit—too political—but every ingredient was given a microphone and feelings. The event opened with […]
